Three Parenting Styles

Three Parenting Styles brought a new dimension in understanding children's behavior.

During 1960 Diana Baumrind,a leading psychologist conducted a study on more than 100 preschool age children using naturalistic observations, parental interviews and other research methods and came up with her theory about Parenting styles. Her theory says that there are three major styles of parenting. The styles are based on :

*disciplinary strategies

*warmth and nurture

*communication styles

*expectation of maturity and control Baumrind's theory of Three Parenting Styles made a major impact on early childhood education. Later, another style is also added as a fourth parental style.

Permissive parental style: (too soft)

Here, the parents are lenient, not much structure is established.Children are expected to follow the rules,but easily forgiven when they do not.

Parents are often nurturing , soft and warm. They want to be more their children's friends than parents or guides.

Communication channels are wide open. Children take part in making decisions and rules , sometimes they rather make the rules and it is okay with the parents.

Parents do not have high expectations regarding their children's' behavior. Tantrums and obnoxious behavior are easily over looked or excused.

Authoritarian Style (too hard)

Parents establish clear-cut guide lines and rules. Children are expected to obey them and are punished otherwise.

Parents keep their hierarchy and are expected to be treated as superiors. They can be cold and harsh. They are seldom nurturers. They hardly give time to their children for fun, they just show the rules and say what is expected. They are obedience and status oriented.

There is not much sharing or explanation about the reason for a rule Their favorite phrase is- “because I said so”. They are not responsive to their children.

They have high demands and expectation from their kids .

Authoritative:(just right)

Parents establish ground rules and show how and what is expected. They explain why it is set so. Guide lines are clear, and sometimes established involving the children. Children are expected to follow the rules, failing to do so is not overlooked, the child is involved solving the problem but is given a second chance

Parents are warm and nurturing. They are friendly and spend time with their kids where open communication is encouraged.

Expectation from children is high and though punishment or rewards are not given, reinforcement is always provided.

The fourth style is where parents are indifferent and uninvolved.

The uninvolved style is characterized by:

No clear guide lines or rules are there. No consistency. Children are not expected to follow or obey a rule even if it is established. There is very little expectation from children

These parents are uninvolved in their children's lives. They are not responsive to their children. May be the physical need of their children is met, but no emotional tie exists.. They are not warm or nurturers. Rather, they want to avoid, neglect even reject their children

There is hardly any communication.

Expectation from their children is very low.

Impact of the Three Parenting Styles on the children:

Permissive parents produce children who are extroverts and can easily explain themselves but they experience problems in school since they lack the skills of following direction,and respecting authority. Therefore they often become confused and unhappy, sometimes rebellious. Some times they are "spoiled kids"

Authoritarian parental style leads to children who are obedient to superiors but can be bossy and bully to younger kids. They are subservient to superiors and bullies. Some times they learn to be sneaky . Deep down they rank low in social skills and self esteem.

Authoritarian style tends to result in children who are capable, successful and happy with higher resiliency and self esteem.

The worst is the fourth kind. Uninvolved parents produce uninvolved children ranking lowest in all domains. They have lowest self esteem and self control. They are confused and unhappy and have low performance later on.

What are the underlying reasons for such distinct styles?

Braumrind thinks there are several reasons that are responsible. Parents' cultural back ground, personality, socio- economic status, education level, religion all these form our distinct styles- the Three Parenting Styles and then the fourth.

In a family there can be blended styles too like, the dad is authoritarian while mom is permissive. That can confuse the kids and teach then to be sneaky.

It is important that parents are clear about the rules, guide lines and maintain the consistency. Parents must respect each other and make it clear to the kids and follow through with their actions so that children do not become sneaky.

Now that you are aware of Three Parenting Styles and also the fourth think about your style, or the style you were raised with.

The most important thing is the bond. The message of unconditional love must permeate in a regular basis. Soon it will become a familiar thing between the members of the family.

That is the key ingredient for raising a happy family.

After Three Parenting Styles visit other pages with Positive Parenting articles

or go to the Home page for more option.